[Dr. Tanya]

The Goal: Process Praise

The “Why”: We are all sharing “Process Wins” in our Icebreaker thread, but how do we actually talk about those wins with our kids? Instead of a generic “Good job,” we are going to practice The Effort Pivot—describing the specific strategy or focus you see them using in real-time.

💬 Try Saying:

🟢 For the Foundations (Ages 3–6):

• “I noticed how you took a deep breath and tried that puzzle piece a different way when it didn’t fit the first time.”
• “I see you’re using your ‘strong hands’ to help carry those groceries to the counter.”

🔵 For the Discovery Years (Ages 7–11):

• “I see you’re using a checklist to keep track of your science project steps. That’s a great way to stay organized.”
• “I noticed you spent twenty minutes practicing your footwork today, even though it was raining outside.”

🟣 For the Launchpad (Ages 12–18):

• “I noticed you chose to finish your essay tonight before heading out with your friends. That showed a lot of self-discipline.”
• “I saw how you stayed calm and kept communicating with your teammates even when the score was against you.”

✍️ Report Back!

Whether you have a preschooler or a high schooler, let us know what happens when you pivot the conversation toward their effort.

• Do they tell you more about what they did?
• Do they seem more confident in their own strategy?

Drop your observations in the comments! I’ll be checking in throughout the day to see how your “Pivots” are going.

— Dr. Tanya (Your SoccerMomPhD)

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